Hi, guys! Sorry about the brief delay in service, but in my defense, it's only been -
Oh. Five years.
So here's the terrible truth about why I stopped writing about the whole kid thing:
It got... easy. And kind of fun. Our kid went from being a nightmare to the nicest, easiest kid in the world in a matter of months. That little shit that once barfed in my mouth is now a kid who loves Star Wars and builds Lego robots with me (we made one that makes a random Three Stooges sound effect when you bash it on the head). And since there's nothing worse than hearing about how great someone else's kids are, there was nothing left to write. Happy ending, roll credits.
Then we had another kid, and it all went to total shit again. And it was too exhausting to write.
But here's the thing... finally, three and a half years after that, it's starting to get easier again. Our younger kid is a fucking lunatic (he once screamed at me that I had a vagina in my feet). It's clear that between knocking down other kids' block buildings and his inevitable teenaged DUI/public lewdness arrest, he's going to provide plenty of blogging material for a long time.
Also, all of our friends have finally decided to throw in the towel on their doomed attempts to be interesting, unique individuals. Instead, they've decided to join us and crap out a couple of kids. As a result, people have been asking me a lot questions. And I stand ever prepared to respond to genuine, desperate cries for help with glib deflections. I'm like Jesus that way.
So, patient readers, this blog is back, answering questions and sharing my 3-year-old's trenchant observations about scrotums (examples: they exist; they are great; they need a lot more social media exposure via being shouted about in public at every available opportunity).
And if you like this blog, I know you'd love The Breeder's Book Club Podcast even more.
I'm so happy to be back, gentle readers. We'll talk again soon.